“What you allow is what will continue” – Unknown

Prior to my diagnosis, I got things done. I made lists. And I checked things off of those lists. I had innate drive, ambition, and I set goals.

The Parkinson’s-associated symptom of apathy is one of the hardest things that I have had to adjust to lately. In fact, I’ve been putting off writing this post because of this unfamiliar and unwelcome feeling of indifference or lassitude. It is hard for me to comprehend how/why this has happened but it “affects up to 40 percent of people with Parkinson’s disease (PD) and is likely due, at least in part, to lack of the neurotransmitter (brain chemical) dopamine” (Michael J. Fox Foundation). Although I know this, I still struggle with my own self-imposed judgment of ‘just being lazy.’

Apathy is a very real problem, (Parkinson Canada – Apathy). It can worsen over time and lead to social withdrawal, depression, and anxiety. I have to prioritize my approach to dealing with it, as I’m noticing my levels of initiative vary greatly from one day to the next.

I have to get control over apathy so that it doesn’t control me.

Exercise is the best treatment for apathy and it is non-negotiable for me. This is a list item that has to be completed at least twice daily (preferably outside and with a high-intensity) or I will suffer the additional consequences of increased stiffness, rigidity, and pain.

Anything that I accomplish after that is now considered bonus! A load of laundry, cleaning a room, paying bills, and other less desirable activities are much harder to accomplish. But when I wake up in the morning, I try to pick at least one or two of those things to ‘get done today.’ Sometimes it happens, other times the tasks seem insurmountable.

Starting today, right now, I will go back to making lists…shorter lists…but lists!